VISIT FROM THE INDIAN PRINCESS: CHAPTER 20 OF UNDERCOVER
63VISIT BY THE INDIAN PRINCESS
VISIT FROM THE INDIAN PRINCESS
Dad couldn’t have been any angrier with me if I had bombed a church. I convinced him I had loaned the car out, after all, but he was more upset that I had lied to the judge in the courtroom than he was about the loaning out of the Chevy Vega. It was hard to know what to tell Dad any more, because he wasn’t always mad about what I thought he’d be mad about. I usually knew what lies to tell, but this was getting to be a pretty tricky situation, and I never knew how he and Mama were going to react. I just hoped nobody wanted to ask me any more questions.
Meanwhile, I was pretty miserable. I was on restriction from all social activities, and didn’t even know how long it would last. I heard from Mama, that Alice’s parents were putting her in a drug treatment center. I figured even that would be better than sitting around the house all the time without being able to go anywhere. Mama finally had mercy, and convinced Dad to allow Janice to visit me.
“Janice wasn’t involved in the drug arrest,” Mama persuaded. “We can’t refuse to allow Vandy to have any friends at all.” Finally, Dad relented, and Janice came over, eager to hear the details of the drug raid.
I recanted the whole thing, leaving out that Robert and I were lovers. I’d heard enough sermons from my parents to last a lifetime, and didn’t much feel like hearing one from Janice too. Still, it was good to be able to talk to another kid and get the latest news.
“Alice is at a treatment center,” Janice shared. “Her parents think she’s addicted to downers. Was she using a lot of drugs at Cheryl’s apartment?”
“Yeah,” I responded, “and sleeping with a lot of guys too. She has an awful reputation. Everybody thinks she’s a drug addict and a ball freak. I feel kinda sorry for her in a way.”
“I don’t,” Janice argued. “She should know better than to sleep with all those guys. They are just using her for sex. Anyone should know better than to have sex with Robert Anderson. He’s been with a lot of girls at North Clayton too.”
My heart sank. I didn’t want to talk about this anymore. What if Robert was seeing someone else, already? If he was, I didn’t even want to know about it. What if my reputation was as bad as Alice’s, and he was telling all his friends I was a whore just like Alice?
“David Bartlett said That Robert is grounded from Forest Park, now, because of the drug raid. “ She leaned real close to me. “Are you going to smoke pot, anymore? According to David, Robert’s parents think he was smoking dope because he was hanging out with a rough crowd in Forest Park.”
I could feel my face flush; I felt like the biggest whore in town. Why did I sleep with him? I would be ashamed to show my face in public, or at any of the hangouts now. I was thinking I’d like to punch his mother’s lights out.
“Robert was smoking dope before he ever started hanging out at Cheryl’s apartment,” I defended myself. “I think he was in the car the first time I ever got high.” I wondered if Janice knew more than she was letting on. “And that was over two years ago,” I added.
“Did you know that Cheryl Lyles is a professional prostitute?” Janice asked, standing up to peer into my dresser mirror. “It was in the paper. She’s been arrested three different times, and now they took her kids away.”
“I don’t think she cared much about the kids, anyhow, “ I mumbled, stretching out long ways on my bed, watching Janice remove access makeup from the corner of her right eye. “The baby always had a diaper rash, and the other two looked dirty most of the time. Robert said Cheryl was hooked on heroin.”
“Did Robert hang out over there a lot?” Janice pounced back on the foot of my bed.
“No, “ I lied, with face still flushing. “Not that much. He was only there a few times.”
“I guess he was over there doing Alice Price.” It seemed like Janice was staring holes through me.
“Guess so, “ I mumbled, “but only a few times.”
After Janice left, I felt sad. In the Court House I had felt that Robert really cared about me, but now I just felt like another whore. But how could I be a whore when I had only slept with two guys? Janice had been with as many guys as I had, but she was still seeing Jack, and he was only her second. I certainly couldn’t have sex with anyone else, or I might end up like Alice Price. It was embarrassing to remember all the things I had done with Robert, and now I had to worry about Janice finding out about it.
VISIT FROM THE INDIAN PRINCESS IS CHAPTER 20 OF UNDERCOVER; TO READ PREVIOUS CHAPTERS, CLICK LINK BELOW:
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Val,
Sixteen? Two guys? That would have been considered extremely low mileage in the circles I ran in. lol
good job!
jim
Hi Guys. Mentalist Acer, I'm afraid my parents were more conservative than yours on that, and probably most issues. Jim, I came from an extremely conservative Christian fundamentalist background, and we also lived in the heart of the Bible Belt, the deep south, Georgia. You started reading Undercover at the Indian Princess chapter, but you didn't read the earlier chapters that provided some insight into my family history. My grandmother thought it was a sin for women to wear shorts or lipstick, and "lust" was shameful. If you get bored enough, catch up on earlier chapters. I still suffer from unreasonable guilt over having fundamentalist Christian, and very conservative roots. Many in the small town I live in now, would still think of me as "that kind of woman" simply because I have written this book. We're talking conservative, fundamentalists right ringed, inhibited environment. Girls were bred to be "virgins" until marriage, and you were considered less than if you broke that cardinal rule. It is evident in the attitudes of both Janice and Vandy. (: v Oh, and thanks you guys for reading my chapter.
Also, guys, understand that the "whore" thinking was all in my head, based on the way I was brought up. Robert Anderson wasn't calling me a "whore;" Janice was making me feel like one. The whole guilt drama played out in my head, and still does today. Like many Catholics I know, I have some heavy guilt related to what I was taught in my childhood, as well as the deep south sex role expectations. I've always been a rebel, and in many areas of the country, writing about this type thing as a woman is still taboo. I have to write other things, talk to myself, take breaks, and do personal therapy on myself to write about this, because I was brain washed from childhood to act like a virgin whether I really was one or not. That is what you are seeing in this chapter, and I'd guess I'm not the only woman who has had these conflicting feelings about sexual behavior. We were taught that liking sex made you less than other women, at least outside of marriage, and I have never been married. (: v
Yes, I have a lot of catching up to do. Believe it or not, I'm just starting to kind of learn my way around on the Hub. I feel a bit retarded sometimes. I grew up in a small town in Texas until my mom re married. Then we moved to Omaha Nebraska. I think I was fifteen. That's when the doors started flying off for me sexually. But in Texas, I got the hell beat out me several times because of my long hair by a bunch of Bible thunping red necks. lol I do know about extreme conservatism. I'm a few degrees to the right, but I don't do extremes either right or left. These fanatics you're talking about are usually (not always though)some of the biggest hyporcrites on the face of the planet, and do Christianity a huge dis service. In fact, I'm going to write a piece on this very subject Val. Once again, you've inspired another hub for me. Thanks!
jim
Thanks Jim, and sexual taboos for women are even common among people who don't claim to be that religious, at least here in the deep south. Women down here walk around acting like they are virgins, even with four kids and three marriages. They frown on anyone who is open about it, and believe me, sometimes writing this book scares me to death. I'm doing it because I hate fake virgins, or virgin wanta bees. I'll talk and write about what I damn well please, and I won't allow anyone to treat me different anymore, because I do so. It wouldn't matter if I had slept with 100 men, I'd still say "No" and mean it if that was what I wanted to do. I don't owe anybody anything, simply because I might have loved some other men in my past. The attitude that women either sleep with nobody or everybody also needs to be challenged. Its a mind set I grew up with that made my life miserable for years, so now I'm going to write this book, and dare anyone to treat me like it makes me any less of a person, woman, or person of the faith. Thanks for coming back. I always enjoy your comments. (:v
Mentalist acer Level 6 Commenter 23 months ago
Reputation and mom and dad:)!! My mom and dad told me right after high school that I could smoke pot just dont bring it in the house only because it was illegal...as a matter of fact my dad said all drugs should be legal much as the same as abortion because a person should have the right to thier own body,my parents didn't even drink!!