ADDICTION RECOVERY, MEANINGFUL WORK AND SELF ESTEEM
81MEANINGFUL WORK PROMOTES HIGH SELF ESTEEM
What is Self Esteem?
Self esteem can be defined as positive self regard, or a manner in which one carries herself demonstrating positive expectations. More often than not, good things come to those who have high expectations for themselves and are not afraid to reveal them. Many covet high self esteem, yet do not know how to change their own low opinion of themselves. They watch others move forward, yet appear to be stuck in insecurity, hopelessness, and resentment. What creates high self esteem, and how does a person promote his or her own level of self confidence?
My experience with healthy self esteem is that it is fickle, easily challenged, only to unexpectedly resurface at a time when one least expects it to do so. My self esteem has suffered greatly this year through underemployment, and a seemingly endless career search yielding few results. Two weeks ago, my self esteem was at an all time low, after my family remodeled my bathroom for me, work I should have been able to finance myself.
My part time hours had been reduced to few, and I was applying for jobs I would have been ashamed to do. Nevertheless, allowing my family to pay my bills and remodel my home was also shaming. I began applying for part time cashier jobs at discount stores such as Dollar General and Family Dollar. Not only was I scraping the bottom of the employment barrel, I still wasn't getting called. I lost interest in writing at all, because I was angry, bitter, and had nothing positive to share with my readers.
One day while our dogs were swimming in the lake near his dock, a friend mentioned an acquaintance who was hired at Family Dollar with a drug addiction, and fired after $100 was missing from the cash register there. It occurred to me that many drug addicts have never experienced the level of confidence present from career success or simply a job well done. I suddenly felt grateful I had at one time experienced the competence of running substance abuse programs and enjoyed involvement in a skill at which I felt comfortable and knowledgeable. Even though I had little hope of returning to my career at the time, just the memory of a job well down somehow made a difference.
The next day as I was completing a state application for a part time job in my field, I actually teared up remembering what it felt like to do the work I had once done with confidence. Suddenly I knew I had to experience it again no matter what the cost. I found a full time position on line, applied for the job, and sent a cover letter and resume directly to the Human Resources Department, something the site specifically said NOT to do, agreeing to accept the lowest pay on the pay scale posted in exchange for supervision towards my license as either a Licensed Professional Counselor or a Licensed Professional Marriage and Family Therapist. Moving forward with my career suddenly meant more than believing I would ever complete the process prior to retirement. My behavior was not actually about advancing my career, but the need to once again experience stability and pride in my life, the need to be once again empowered.
Within thirty minutes I received a call from the agency, my resume was sent directly to the hiring manager, and an appointment was set for an employment interview the following week. My references were checked immediately after the interview, and I have reason to believe I might receive a job offer at any time.
The remarkable thing about even the prospect of returning to a career with which I am familiar and enjoyed years of success, is what it did for my self esteem. I have not earned the first dollar, yet my confidence level is up, and I believe something positive is going to happen, either with this employment prospect or another one. Connecting with my memories of doing a job with confidence actually rejuvenated my morale and brought about the return of a level of confidence I had lost. It wasn't about the money, as I have presently earned none, and stated I would be willing to work for less than I have done in years. It was about the idea of once again doing the thing that made me feel whole before.
Self Esteem in Recovery from Drugs and Alcohol
Before I experienced success in my work, I did not know how it felt to do anything well. I simply drifted through my life with no plan of how to improve it. Likewise, many return to lives of crime or settle for public assistance simply because they do not believe they can do anything legal well, and do not understand how positive it feels to do so. They settle for escapism, a temporary high, handouts that also bring shame, and the assumption they have nothing worthwhile to offer in the workplace or the world. Such thinking causes people to feel anger, resentment and resignation to a life of non productivity.
I remember well those days, and sadly, some of them have been within the past year. while I have not given up even a low paying job for a measly $100 stolen from a cash register, I have lived with the belief that I had to live in a substandard way. Hopelessness is the culprit that causes people to make stupid choices that do not make any sense logically. expectations of failure cause people to hold on to very little, and stay in a downward spiral.
I strongly suspect I will have the same negative feelings again, but do believe an important relationship exists between success in the workplace and recovery from addiction. Once a person actually experiences a life better than drug highs, handouts that bring shame, low self esteem, and failure, there is a pretty good chance that person will hold on to the better life.
My assumption is that many criminals and drug dependent individuals never experience the magnificent sensation of true success in the workplace. No experience should be more targeted by substance abuse professionals and law enforcement than simply allowing the criminal to experience some level of workplace success. We know about negative associations, and teach a great deal in relapse prevention groups about things former drug users should avoid, but do we do nearly enough to teach them about the associations that may save their lives?
I have heard it said that addiction has a long memory, and I don't doubt it for a moment. Success has a long memory as well; however, and I have not heard that aspect of recovery discussed nearly as often. A person can relapse into good behavior just as surely as he or she can relapse into destructive behavior, but there must be an experience there to trigger good memories in order for a positive relapse to occur. In all honesty, memories of a positive past, not moral integrity, probably saved me from drug relapse this last year.
Throughout this troubled year, I remembered having positive self regard and high self value, though at times I had little hope of their return. Still, that small amount of hope was enough to keep me from throwing everything away during a seemingly hopeless year of failure. In short, this experience has staying power, and that is the power to change lives. If we do not find ways to cause the recovering addict to experience the life saving effect of meaningful work, we have done him an injustice and contributed to the continuing process of unabated crime and addiction.
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Wow...what a powerful hub! I am glad you did not succumb to the pressures to drag you back down that alley..that is strength of will and of character. I salute you.
I am with you, Valerie...
hugs,
Melinda
Thanks Ray and Melinda, I actually felt the hub was clumsily written, but it has substance. I am also gearing up just in case I get the job, managing a step down facility for recovering men with addiction problems. I really do think success goes a long way in the fight against addiction, and so few addicts experience it on any real level. (:v
I wish for you the job, if it is good for you. I think you will be able to help a lot of people. However one cannot see what lies ahead and hence the if it is good for you qualification.
As the future is fluid and dynamic, it is true what they say in Lord of the Rings. Even the wisest cannot tell.
Much love,
Melinda
Either it will happen or it won't. At least it is a possibility which is more than I've had in a while. (:v
I love that directness in you. I admire it. It is a sign of fearlessness.
Thanks msorensson. I seem to be that way, for better or for worse. (:v
Valerie Hi,
This was a very emotional and very interesting hub. I know only too well what it is like to feel your self esteem hit the floor. You feel your at the bottom and you will never get back up.
Well, it was lke that with me. I have spent most of my life in and out of hospital. I was on very strong analgesics for pain, such as Pethidine, Morphine and recently because I have contracted now a very rare and incurable disease, I have to wear these patches on my legs. They have been impregnated with a very strong narcotic drug, which I need to get by because the pain is so bad. I feel like a drug addict because I have to be wearing these all the time. At times, I have been suicidal and twice tried to overdose, because the thought of going through with this disease terrifies me.But, I hated wearing narcotice pain patches more. When, in fact, I should have been more upset that I am dying.
I have had a difficult time coming to terms with it and it has put my life and my families, in particular my husband's in total chaos. I was looking for something to fill in the days when I can't relax and the nights when I can't sleep. I have been suffering from very bad insomnia, so I decided to use this to my advantage, instead of letting it ruin my life.
I joined hubpages to write and after a few months, through various comments that were made to me, I realised that I wanted to write poetry. I have been doing this since about January, I have been with Hubpages for about 11 months and have recently reeistered with a couple of websites
I have written sixty poems since then.
I had this dream that maybe if I could write a poem, that was good enough, I could put a book of poetry together.
So, I have hung in there and now because of this, I have been told that a poem, that I have written for children about fairies, would make an excellent book rather than a poem. So, I rang up a firm, discussed my options and now on my way to publishing my first children's maybe a second as well, books.
The reason I am telling you this is because I thought when I was told that I had disease for which there was no cure, that my life was over.Icould not seen that light at the end of the tunnel they talk about. All, I thought about was how scared I was and that the more I told myself I hated myself, I hated the disease, the easier it was to allow my self esteem to plummet down.
I have proven to myself and I hope to others, that if you want something bad enough, and work real hard for it, it is possible to make it happen. I remember reading this paragraph in your hub Valerie, and I wanted to quote you because this is so true:
'I strongly suspect I will have the same negative feelings again, but do believe an important relationship exists between success in the workplace and recovery from addiction. Once a person actually experiences a life better than drug highs, handouts that bring shame, low self esteem, and failure, there is a pretty good chance that person will hold on to the better life."
so please anyone reading Valerie's hub, take notice, because it isn't just that there is a pretty good chance that for those people in these situations, like Valerie and myself, there are definite possibilities, I can assure you. I was feeling exactly the same way, and if you want to get away from drugs to aim for that better positon in your life,that place where you don't have highs and have to find money or whatever to get the drugs, it is possible please believe this.
can and it does happen, but you have to believe it. You have to fight for it, but most of all YOU HAVE TO WANT IT MORE THAN ANYTHING IN YOUR LIFE THAN YOU HAVE EVER WANTED BEFORE.
hen, and only then will you start to notice changes, that is when it is more important than ever to give yourself the chance in life that you want, not the one where you beg borrow and steal, just to get a hit for the night.
Your lives can be so much more richer without drugs to cling to each day. All I am saying to you all is are you not worthy of a good life, where you can live without having to do these things. I know it isn't easy hearing all of this, because like us, you have heard if a million times or more, I am talking from my own personal experience. You will see in the end, after all that hard work, looking back it will have all been worth the trouble, I promise you that.If you can't do it for yourselves, just look into the innocent little faces of your children, it won't take long to see what I am talking about.
Take care, all who are at this point in your lives right now. I will pray for you, as I know a lot of you have done for me. God Bless one and all Love Beautybabe.xx
Thanks Beautybabe, you said a whole lot. I don't think I need to try to add anything to it. Thanks again for your interest in my site. (:v
Hi Valarie, I really enjoyed this hub. This is one of my very most favorite subjects. Positive thinking optimism and motivation. I think people have to make an effort to lift their self up and encourage their self. I know that sometimes sounds hard to do, but if people would force their self to think good about themselves, they may get the motivation to go forward in a positive way. It is no one else's job or responsibility to make us happy or feel good. I guess this is sort of the concept of looking out for number one. I believe that friends and family can make a good support group but it is ultimately up to us as an individual to do what it takes to bring happiness and success into our own lives. Thanks so much for this wonderful advise and I hope the best for you in your job search. You are always in my prayers as I think about you every time I drive through Atlanta.
Hello Zzron. I guess I believe it is everyone's responsibility to encourage others. We are not islands, and we respond to what is around us. Severely depressed people usually aren't able to pull themselves out of their state of mind, and had I not gotten a call for an interview, I would not have been able to pull myself out of the feeling either. Of course we should all do what we can to prevent becoming that depressed, but some things do depend on things getting better, and we can't always make that happen. In my case, I'm beginning to feel less hopeful about this job with every day that passes without a job offer, but hopefully, either one will come or someone else will call me for an interview. The difficult thing occurs when weeks and months go by without an interview happening.
I didn't realize you traveled through Atlanta that often. You must be a salesman or travel frequently on the job. Thanks for responding to my sites, and for thinking of me when you pass through my city. (:v
Poignant, thanks for having the courage to share.
Hello dallas, but this didn't actually require any courage since it is what most people want to hear anyway. I do think meaningful work is what brings about increased self esteem, but not being able to work can also decrease self esteem for those of us who value the work ethic. I still haven't heard anything from my job prospect, and I might have been too optimistic in that regard. Still, the memory of doing something well means a great deal to me, though it obviously doesn't mean I'll have the opportunity of doing the same again. I guess I'm like the next person, when things are looking up for me personally, I begin to doubt a recession is actually reality, but then when they seem to be staying the same, underemployment with no chance of meaningful work or a steady income that will actually solve my financial problems, I believe the recession is not only real, but lethal. So don't thank me too soon. I'm not convinced we have total control over whether or not we feel depressed or are able to find meaningful work. Thanks again for your interest in my sites. (:v
Valerie, I wish you all the luck in the world and congrats to you for staying strong and conquering addiction and keeping that postitive attitude going. Excellent hub and much information for all of us to learn by.
Mark
Thanks Mark, but at this point I'm pretty sure this job offer is not going to happen. I sent the interviewer a "Thank you for the Interview" email, and all I got was an email back almost immediately that said "It was a pleasure to meet you." That is not an email you would get from someone who is working on getting the paperwork through to get you hired. I'm a wilted rose today, but it isn't the first time. At least I know where I stand. (:v
I do appreciate your openness. This is hard to struggle with and I am so glad you can see a light. God bless you!
Not sure the light at the end of the tunnel is going to happen. It's been a week since the interview with no offer, but I guess a little hope was good for a while. Still, one of my references told me it took her six weeks to get on with the state. By then I won't even remember the interview happened. Guess we'll see, just hope they don't wait until after I can draw social security to make up their minds. LOL. (:v
Hi valeriebelew
Haven't been on your hub for a while till i saw this one
All humans are faced with exactly the same dilemma, I must admit that "Self Esteem" for a person down, is not exactly a point to correct if they remain down and become perplexed with a recurring poverty mind and thoughts.
My solution is always to remind myself of what God says I am, and how he wants me to think. I start of with this piece of scripture, and pass it over and over in my mind and after a while you will get a "Spiritual" upliftment that moves to your existing life circumstance and a change for your better always occurs. A real change takes place. Here is the piece I promote or "peace" I promote.
Psa 23:1-6
The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.
Peace
Hoowantstono, That was also my mother's favorite verse. Thank you for sharing. (:v
Val,
I suggest that if you want to truly impress a potential employer, that you include this hub (or an edited version) with your resume. Hired or not what you say is something that needs be said.
The "self-esteem through satisfying work" is absolutely true and something not always recognized. Your past work experiences and life situations make you someone with deep insight into the REAL components of successful rehabilitation.
I've been following your telling hubs for a little while now and I am glad you have come to this significant epiphany recently.
You SHOULD be proud and pleased with the good your past work experiences have bestowed on others. You have even more to offer now that you have been further enlightened.
I hope you get the chance to use what you have learned and give the help your clients need.
Good luck.
CP
Thanks Christopher, I'm not sure this was actually a recent discovery for me, but one I returned to emotionally recently on a feeling level, as opposed to only an intellectual one. I aquired some formal education, but the work can actually be welding or operating a forklift. It is the ability to do something well that matters. Writing saved me many times this year, and tonight I felt some pride over helping my niece word a cover letter to send along with a resume for employment purposes. It doesn't even have to be a paying job, though in my case the money would help. (:v
Val, I admit to not understanding this problem. I grew up poor, and always knew that the proper hard work and my endurence could over come anything. I became handicapped, and I continue to achieve.
I stopped smoking and drinking by just saying, never again. Smoking was almost 3 packs a day, alcohol was only one night a week downing a fifth. The mind is an amzzing thing, it can conquer all if we allow it to.
Sadly those looked at as great people today, are in the spotlight. We even have a President like this. Society may be better off treating things as was done years ago. H
Thank you for sharing, Harvey. Many do not understand the disease of addiction as the brain disease that it is, and therefore do not understand why it is so difficult to overcome. While you may have been a heavy drinker at one time, what you describe in your comment does not appear to be alcoholism. Smoking is usually a difficult addiction to overcome, and I commend you on doing so, though perhaps you were not addicted to cigarettes either.
Hard work and endurance are worthwhile attributes; however, they do not cure disease. Your misunderstanding of addiction is apparant in that you appear to believe the disease exist because people do not work hard enough or practice endurance. Would you expect these qualities to cure cancer? Heart disease? While both of these disease types, like addiction, are somewhat related to lifestyle (ie. eating habits and lack of exercise), once the disease has progressed, simply having endurance would not stop the disease, nor would working hard eliminate the symptoms or danger involved.
While introducing positive aspects to staying sober or drug free can encourage the recovering person to remain drug free, these will not eliminate the brain damage that takes place with chronic addiction. It takes years to eliminate or even reduce the brain damage, and sometimes it never goes away entirely. In fact, some studies have shown that alcoholics and addicts have different brain chemistries from those who do not develop addictions. Many people drink or smoke too much, but never become addicts or alcoholics. The difference is found in the body and brain chemistry, not in the strength or endurance of the individual.
Lastly, hard work and endurance do not cure cancer, heart disease, or addiction, though they may be helpful during the recovery of all three. And what does the president have to do with any of this?????? I don't get it. "We even have a president like" what????? To my knowledge our president has never had cancer, heart disease or been an addict. He is not a recovering alcoholic or addict.
I assume you may be a republican, a supporter of the tea party movement, or otherwise a person who believes things were better in days past. With all due respect, I could not disagree with you more. We have improved treatment modes today for almost every disease, some have been eliminated completely through vaccines and improved living conditions. Slavery has been abolished, at least in the United States, and women can own property and leave abusive relationships. We are no longer burned as witches for speaking our minds or living in the manner we choose. Morality is not legislated by the government, and old people have security in their old age, even if their children are poor, through social security and Medicare. No. I would not want to live in the old days, nor turn back the hands of time today and live in the manner people once did. Let's just agree to disagree on this one. (:v
This was a powerful hub. It made me stop and think of my son. He turned to drugs. I feel self-esteem does play a huge role in recovery. Along the way, in his life, he lost his, he once had a very successful job. In the blink of an eye it was gone, and he was spiraling out of control. He went to a very dark place in his life.
He admits he was an addict. He works daily to overcome his addiction.
As a mother, I continue to worry about relapses. Paranoia sets in and I worry I see signs of a relapse. I can only hope and pray he will make it back to his previous state of self-esteem.
Proud mama, At least he has had the experience of self esteem in the past. Many have never even experienced that, and it might be what it takes to get him through the recovery process and back into productive living. (:v
To anyone reading this hub article, I would like to report that I received my job offer today at around 6pm. Today is October 20th, 2010, and I am set to begin work on November 1rst. After a full year and a few months of underemployment, I will be back into Substance Abuse Management, doing what I am trained to do, in about ten days. Thanks for all of your support, and looking forward to writing some positive articles now. (:v
Hi val,
Thanks for sharing your experience and being optimistic at times , your hub was great with high self esteem affirmation :) continue being positive minded....
www.myselfesteemaffirmations.com
Thanks for your support, kristiene. I begin work on November 1, and am presently working hard to complete all preemployment training requirements. (:v
Valerie, I want to congratulate you on your recovery thus far. I know it hasn't been easy, but I admire your faith along with your optimism that greater things lie ahead. Even though I was never an addict,I've struggled through a recovery of my own from mental illness. I must say that your Hub echoed many qualities that it takes to endure hardship and come out nearly spotless on the other side, survival most likely being the most prominent among them. Survival is key. I hope to hear more from you in the future.
Hello briansview, I have been working full time for ten months now treating addicted people, first men, and now women in a residential setting. I can't remember if I was working again or not when I wrote this article, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Money is tight, and hours are sometimes long, but meaningful work is still better than unemployment or underemployment. Hang in there buddy. (:v
aware Level 2 Commenter 19 months ago
3 mins this hubs as fresh as they get . And info i can use . best of luck in your endeavors.
your new fan
ray