I GOT MY JOB OFFER TODAY

Yes, after more than a year of underemployment, food stamps, family support, and sometimes falling the victim of extreme negative thinking, I was offered a management position in the field of Substance Abuse this evening. After waiting two weeks for the call, I had all but given up on the job offer. So for those of you who thought it wouldn't happen, that there was probably something wrong with me you didn't know about, or that the things about which you did know were enough in themselves to prevent me from finding employment, you were wrong. The truth is I was wrong too, because I had all but convinced myself I could not receive an offer from this or any employer.

A Long Hard Year

In all honesty, this has been a very long hard year. I relied on Writing and my fitness program to preserve my sanity, and a small amount of self confidence. I pounded my laptop keys with writing defending the poor, defending myself, and seeking that glorious 100 hubscore as some kind of proof I still had constructive ability within me. I set unrealistic fitness goals and met them, and pushed myself ever harder to do whatever I did better and in more quantity than the next person. Frankly, I'm glad its over.

What will I Bring to my New Employment?

To my new employment I will bring a better understanding of the hopelessness many of my clients live with every day. I will know and understand on a whole new level what it feels like to be judged, disrespected, and accused of not really wanting to work. I will understand how truly difficult it is to avoid having a negative attitude in the face of repeated defeat, and I will know better than to insist that I WAS able to rise to the top in spite of adversity, poverty and the present recession, as that is not what those who feel defeated need to hear. I hope I never have the audacity to replace gratitude with pride, because I am very confused about why this offer actually happened.

How Did It Happen?

I can describe how it happened, but it is not within me to understand why it happened? About three weeks ago, I was completing a state application and had a very strong memory of my past life. At one time, I took pride, employment, a reasonable amount of success, and money for granted. I assumed I had all of the above due to my own efforts, and believed I deserved them. About three weeks ago it occurred to me that of all the things I missed, stability was by far the most precious, as without it none of the other good things in life are possible. In a matter of an instant, I suddenly rewrote my resume cover letter to reflect a desire to exchange supervision towards a license, for some of the money I might could request within the salary range.

Within thirty minutes I was offered an employment interview for the following week. From the time I was contacted, the entire experience was very different from any of the prospects I had experienced before. It almost seemed I was being hired on the spot, though I convinced myself that certainly I had mistakenly judged the body language and enthusiasm of the interviewers to mean I was the candidate of choice. The truth is that my words did not flow smoothly like fine wine, as they have in many interviews past. I was not impressive, and my communication was awkward. I was not charismatic nor brimming over with confidence. Still, the behavior of the interview team appeared to indicate I was being taken very seriously.

Almost immediately upon leaving the employment interview setting, my references began reporting they had already been contacted, and things looked especially hopeful when my interviewer contacted me the following day with a list of requirements to which I must agree if I were indeed the candidate of choice. For the next few days, I carried my Smart Phone with me everywhere, anticipating that fateful offer. But a week passed, then close to two, and I heard nothing. I began to imagine something had gone wrong with my employment check, criminal background check, or motor vehicle check, but did not have a clue what it might have been. Slowly hope deserted me, and I suspected I was back to square one with my job search.

Like a Gift From God

Like a gift from God, and just as I was close to losing all hope, I received the call for which I have been waiting from Human Resources this evening at 6pm. Actually, if it had occurred to me to do so, I would have already removed the Smart Phone from my pocket, assuming the office to be closed. The offer came, and I was offered more money than I actually expected. It continues to feel that I had little to do with the offer. I was bland, lacked confidence, lacked charisma, and have been underemployed for a little over a year. Certainly other candidates had more going for them than did I. I was clumsy, honest about my age, and did not attempt to hide the fact that I was working part time for minimum wage. From the beginning, I broke every rule of successful job search tactics and negotiation, yet I received the offer and more money than expected.

DON'T GIVE UP

All I can suggest to those of you who have also lost face due to the present recession, is not to give up. I gave up many times this year, but somehow I managed to pick up the shattered pieces and try again. I do not attribute any of this to my own strength, and as I wrote above, I do not have a clue how this happened in spite of so many other Substance Abuse Counselors who are also out of work. Still, if I had not sent the application or reworded the cover letter, it definitely could not have occurred in the way that it did.

Those of you who have laughed with me, cried with me, and at times been at odds with me, please know I am most grateful. I look forward to another year of hubpages hubs and comments, and only hope I remain forever aware of how it feels to be poor in order to remain eternally grateful.  Hopefully, this year's experience will allow me to relate to and understand more fully the hopelessness of many of those with whom I will again work.