EASTER: CHRIST HAS RISEN AND I'M NOT FEELING SO BAD MYSELF

Christian or pagan, most of us could use a dose of new life. I love the Easter Story, and its symbolism of triumph over abuse and the forces that be. Jesus is definitely my favorite character throughout the Holy Bible, and he wins in the end. What could be better than that? Nothing; that is, unless I could somehow believe the story is true. Lying to God or others won't work, so please don't leave comments asking me to do so. I grew up in a Baptist Church, and spent three years obtaining a Masters Degree from a Southern Baptist Seminary, so I've already experienced all the fear tactics and right winged rants. Please don't send me any more. With God's help, I will find my own way through this faith thing, and may have felt his presence yesterday. Don't mess it up for me now.

GRACE

The definition of grace is undeserved mercy and acceptance, and no one other than perhaps Jesus himself, personified this behavior more profoundly than my own deceased angelic mother. She was of the Christian faith, and unlike myself, did not appear to experience a great deal of doubt. Were it not for Mama, I would probably be just another radical left winged Christian hater, because I can't say that I see the politics of Christ in many professing Christians these days. Mama, on the other hand, was a strong force for good, and it wasn't fake. I should know; I lived with her for many years and saw her faith in action. Mama did not rant, or preach. She simply lived the teachings of Jesus.

JESUS WAS NOT A REPUBLICAN (OR A DEMOCRAT)

NEWS FLASH: The United States of America did not even exist during the time of Jesus. According to my Bible, correct me if yours reads differently, Jesus did not get involved in politics at all. He defined his movement as a spiritual kingdom.

NEWS FLASH: THAT MEANS HE DIDN'T RUN FOR OFFICE, OR EXCLUDE THOSE OF EITHER PARTY FROM JOINING HIS MOVEMENT.

My guess is that he knew doing so would screw it all up. According to the New Testament accounts, he resisted the desire of the masses to make him a king; however, even that did not prevent the political leaders of his time from demanding his death. Sound familiar? The far right and far left crucify people daily who fail to conform to their perspective views of political correctness. About all it takes these days to lose one's job, one's livelihood, one's reputation, or be deemed as the anti-Christ, is to express an opinion contrary to what the masses want to hear, or use a socially unacceptable word.

On being the anti-Christ, I must observe that one may profess to be Christian, but if he or she does not agree with the politically "sacred" views of the far right, he or she is suspected of being "the" anti-Christ. The Bible speaks of "false prophets," but only one "anti-Christ." I actually suspect the term "anti-Christ" refers to a movement, rather than an individual. If that is indeed the case, we can stop waiting, because it is definitely already here, and has been present for a while.

The far left has its own "anti-Christ" character, in the form of the bigot, racist, homophobic, Bible thumper, etc., and these labels have equal ability to crucify. In fact, they hold the power to destroy reputation and income ability. if you doubt it for a minute, allow yourself to be labeled and await what happens next. Whatever happened to freedom of speech? Speech is not free if one cannot expect to support himself or herself through career efforts, afterwards. Writing is extremely risky these days; the prudent remain quiet.

THE OLD TESTAMENT

I should have stopped before I got further behind. The Old Testament is a barrier to my ability to believe any part of the Bible. I have problems with the concept of a "jealous" God, and find it an example of man creating god in his image, rather than the other way around. Jesus displayed none of these qualities, yet, the Old Testament God kills with no restraint, and advocates killing for the sake of racial and religious purification, the Jewish religion and race, if you will. He takes the stand of a reverse Hitler approach. Just who is the anti-Christ here, since Jesus did neither?

The Old Testament is written from the perspective of Jewish males, and I find it difficult to believe our creator is intellectually limited to that extent. The New Testament would be so much easier for me to accept without the inclusion of the old. Advocates of the Old, in fact, were responsible for putting Jesus to death, according to New Testament Scripture. The same narrow minded concepts crucify millions today, through labels and discrimination, but most Christians continue to insist that the Old Testament is as valid as is the new. Something is wrong here, since the Old and the New Testaments have little in common.

Jesus stands out as the only example, through writing, of anybody who was able to practice original Biblical law without also practicing racism and sexism, among other isms. It is also interesting to note, that while Jesus must have been aware that homosexuality did exist, he failed to even mention it. Apparently, it was not at the top of his list of concerns.

The apostle Paul was brilliant; however, unlike many Christians, I do not give his writing the same level of authority as that of Jesus. Aside from the fact that Paul was not God, or designated as such, he again wrote from the perspective of Jewish males. He seemed to think it was necessary to clarify the teachings of Jesus, by including the Jewish male concept of what Jesus actually meant to say. Jesus spoke well enough for himself, thank you. I do not believe he needed Paul's clarification, nor that of anybody else.

CLIMBED A MOUNTAIN AND TURNED AROUND

The lyrics of a song a few years back were recorded by Fleetwood Mac, as follows:

Took my love,

Took it down

Climbed a mountain

then turned around

and I saw my reflection

on the snow covered hills

till the landslide'll bring it down

Oh, Mirror in the sky

what is love

can the child within my heart

rise above

can I flow with the changing

ocean tides

can I handle the changes

of my life

Oh, I've been scared of changing

cause I built my life

around you

but time makes you bolder

even children get older

and I'm getting older too."

"PUTTING AWAY CHILDISH THINGS"

It is time for honesty, regardless of how painful it may be. The Baptist Church required that I profess to "know" more than I am able to know. I choose to believe in the teachings of Jesus, but do not advocate many of the beliefs demonstrated within the Old Testament, or through the Apostle Paul. Something happened somewhere, related to human error. Children often believe what they are told to believe; however, I am no longer a child. I cannot justify things that appear wrong and unjust on the basis of something else that appears to be wrong and unjust. I must be honest with myself, as I doubt I am fooling any creator who actually exists out there, anyway.

BORN AGAIN

So, maybe I have indeed been "born again." Waiting for guidance that is real is very different from accepting established teachings designed to deal with the fear of death, and keep the poor and oppressed satisfied with their meager state of being. I don't believe the teachings of Jesus merely do either. His theology was liberating in every way, and for everybody. If it quacks like a duck, and has webbed feet, chances are it is a duck, and "false prophets" abound. it is up to us to make the adult choices and seek our own answers. While I was not present within an organized religious service this morning, I have been touched by Jesus just the same.