FREE FALLING: CONCLUSION CHAPTER OF UNDERCOVER
68FREE FALLING
FREE FALLING
FREE FALLING: TOM PETTY: CLICK BELOW TO HEAR IT:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i18nSZBgOfs
Music is my life
It is not my livelihood
And it makes me feel so happy
And it makes me feel so good
And I sing from my heart
And I sing from my soul
I do not know how well I sing
It just makes me whole
With apologies to Harry Chapin
Once I entertained fantasies of skydiving. I never took the plunge. Spirits and angels fly. I wanted to do it too. My very spirit requires freedom, and repels structure. I can never remain caged for long, and do not believe caged birds sing well. Their song is sad, and limited. I have no desire to sing along.
I do not wish to fly within a predictable pattern. I prefer to fly free. My journey from destruction to constructive life has been a free flight. It continues to offer surprise and wonder with every twist and turn along the way. Sometimes my path is difficult to discern; its direction may be blocked from my view. My destination remains a mystery, still, dreams only live in our inability to predict or control.
Free falling is about taking a leap, unsure of where the landing will be. Almost a year has passed since I took the plunge with my idea of in home assessment work on a contract basis. My referral source took interest in my proposed plan, and it took wings, able to fly. It is late December 2008, and I may be making a crash landing. There have been no referrals this month. It is not a merry Christmas. Instead, it is closer to suicide December. My work has provided me with purpose outside of my art, has been my livelihood, and has contributed to the writing of this story. Its music may be ending.
It would be highly improper to end my story without some details regarding how its characters progressed after the story’s ending. I never saw Hunter Robinson again, being true to my promise both to myself and to Shelly Canton, to protect both of us from the associations my presence in his life would bring. I am most grateful to him for providing me with much of this manuscript, and hope the year 2008 finds him alive, drug free, and back to his original state of emotional health, wherever he may be. Denise Strickland eventually married her attorney boyfriend, Lee Barns, and became Mrs. Barnes. While I have not seen her in over twenty years, we will assume for this story’s purposes, they are still together, and lived happily ever after. Shelly Canton is still paying forward, and last I heard, Tom Sands is now a Certified Addictions Counselor, and employed in the field of addiction sciences, directing a Substance Abuse Rehab facility of his own. Mary Dunn entered rehab for alcohol abuse, and is now attending twelve step groups in Decatur, Georgia. She is also a CPA. As for me, I am still free falling.
I obtained a Master’s Degree in Psychology and Counseling from a school in New Orleans, and became an Internationally Certified Addiction Counselor two years later. After graduation, I was able to take my career from Substance Abuse Counselor in Atmore, Alabama, to Program Director over three sites, in Atlanta, within a few short years. Unfortunately for those who love me, I am also a certified free faller who is never able to remain anywhere long. As I have said before, I abhor structure and confinement.
I have continued to pay forward since obtaining my degree and certification. Sometimes I still romance the old life, but when I think the process all the way through to its final destination, I know I do not want to go back there. Often times, I remember Tom Sands with fondness, especially since Ashton Summers’ recent surprise entry into my life. I guess payback is hell. Life does have a sense of humor.
I am proud and encouraged that both Tom and I managed to beat the odds. Hopefully, Hunter eventually did so as well. I do not know what waits for me next in my life. My lapse in referrals could be only due to a lag brought about by caseworkers being too busy celebrating Christmas to perform as they generally do. It could also be that the Great Giant Spirit only allowed me a year’s grace in order to complete this manuscript.
As Harry Chapin wrote before his death, “I’ve got something inside me, that’s not what my life’s about.” In my heart of hearts, I know there will be other manuscripts, whether or not Undercover is ever published by a major publishing house. I am an artist, a writer. I simply cannot stop writing; it is its own reinforcement contingency. In the meantime, there are hopefully, still plenty of little jobs to do, in spite of our troubled economy.
I must begin another book, along with the process of attempting to find a publisher for this one. That is what free falling is all about. It will be necessary for me to maintain my monthly expenses through some small income source, while keeping my dreams alive through the process of practicing the art of writing. As I anticipate my future, I know that this will be no little job.
FREE FALLING IS THE CONCLUSION CHAPTER OF UNDERCOVER; TO READ PREVOUS CHAPTERS OR START AT THE BEGINNING, PLEASE CLICK LINK BELOW:
http://hubpages.com/_2pvzhao591xs4/hub/UNDERCOVER-SYNOPSIS-OF-MY-FIRST-NOVAL
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Great ending, love Tom Petty.
Thanks you guys. I feel kinda sad the novel, and this round of its revision is completed. I always miss living with the characters every day right after I finish. (:v
Oh I've been reading these to completetion this morning and couldn't stop, I just heard my clock sound 11 just one hour before noon, I'd better get to work. Love this series and def was consumed by it. I wouldn't have ended it differently myself, with the power of the pen your great real and uncut... Peace dear friend Peace and Thanks for the hours of fascinating entertainment!
I know you will probably chastise me,but what ever happened to the Indian Princess?
Anyway, I dont know how many people here can identfy with your lead character as much as I did...as a person with whose limited use of hard drugs were disaterous.Blackouts from downers to instant paranoia from stimulants.As intense as some of the parts of your life were troublesome...I found you utterly charming and someone I would have been friends with!;)
Thanks katiem. I'm also trying to get some weed whacking done, as it thundered and lightening all day yesterday, and my great nephew also had a birthday party across the street. Even though the kids tend to ignore us grown ups, they really notice whether or not you show up. I wrote like crazy all weekend, and attended the party. My yard looks like hell.
Mentalist, I realize I went on a writing benge this weekend, and everybody got behind and may never read everything I wrote, but let me know where you left off with the Indian Princess, because several things happened since she was introduced to the reader. If you'll let me know where you left off with her, I'll direct you to the chapter(s) to read. (:v
She was the one who became a stripper and on heroin,thats the last of her I read about?
mentalist, Go back to "Dirty Politics" and read forward. You commented on dirty politics so you must have forgotten what was written. Dirty Politics, then "College Days:Casualty in the Old Crowd" both deal with the Indian Princess. Since her story is complete in those chapters, I do not mention it again at the end. Putting chapters on hubpages causes many important parts of one's writing to be missed by people who skip them, but you didn't usually do that. Never the less, it wouldn't be read or marketed at all if I didn't make this sacrifice and do it this way. Sorry about the confusion. Try reading those chapters. I sent you an email, but perhaps you haven't received it yet. (:v
I completely agree with this page. Free falling is not a choice for everyone, but I like you have taken a similar jump. I have contemplated for awhile now as to how to become a professional writer and I could not answer my own question. Recently however I rediscovered an ideal I hold that if you want something, get it. So I have taken my step and began writing as a "professional". I am currently trying to wrap up my first novel as well as maintaining my hub, blog and other minor writing pages.
Good luck on your fall. If you keep stepping forward it's impossible to go backwards.
PEACE to you
Thanks eilander. Nice to hear from a kindred spirit. I don't know how much of it has to do with "luck" and how much of it has to do with stubborn persistence. It may never happen with push, push, push, but is more likely to happen that way than with passive waiting for some yo yo who has a lot of power in a large publishing house to even actually read your work. I feel it gets rejected by people who never read it. So, I believe in going from the ground up. Once you have attention, the stuff shirts will be more interested. If not, well at least you had the pleasure of having your writing read by people you've never even seen face to face. Keep writing. (:v
Hi, Valerie, I quite agree with you about trying to get it published, it is never quite so flowing as when you can get a book in front of you, but well done for doing this, and I am sure you will be successful, have you tried e-books? or doesn't that work very well? cheers nell
Hello Nell Rose. I am assuming it would cost money to publish an e-book. I have been underemployed for a year, now, and am lucky to be able to do as much as I do. Spending money on anything other than my computer program, DSL service, and phone bill which includes my internet service, is out of the question. There is no money to do anything else. This is not the best way to be read, because few, if any, ever read the entire novel, still it is the only chance I have right now to be read or market my writing. It is better than nothing at all, so it is the method I use. Thanks for your comments. (:v
Valerie the update fits in perfectly and like Katie I have sat down in lumps reading through the chapters - this is one very real novel and your writing is so personal and flowing that the characters are real, the experiences are real as the readers confirm. I have little doubt that good things are ahead for you - as you said you came out the other side - not many do and not many have the talent you have in prose. Above all your honesty is so refreshing in this world we live in. I feel fortunate to have bothered to start writing on hubpages a few months back and then coming across writers like yourself. Bon Chance :)
Thank you billyaustindillon. I definitely need emotional support today, what with the appearance that the job has fallen through after I was so sure it was going to happen. What the heck. This only makes me more real to those who read my writing. I'm not the only one who experiences emotional pain, so there is something in my failure to lift others up and help them know they are not alone. Thanks again for your support. (:v
Fascinating read Val. I still don't really know you, but you sure can write. Awesome. CC
Thanks ralwus, if you've read my writing you probably know me as well as anybody else does, but I tend to change like the weather. What I feel one day is not what I feel the next. I'm too sensitive, a woman thing, and that causes me to be hard to deal with. Thanks for being a loyal reader. Think of you often, though I don't really know you either. (:v
TheManWithNoPants Level 7 Commenter 22 months ago
You are beautifully complicated .. intrigued with the problem, thankful for the solution, and still trying to understand them both. Guess that's why we're friends. I get it.